I'm in Here
by lostloveladyintn
Summary: Renessmee world has been turned upside down. Her whole life she had loved Jacob Black with his death she did not know where to turn or how to get there. What was she going to do? Who does she turn too? Come with us on this journey as Nessmee discovers herself.


I Am In Here

_Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?_

_I have been waiting for you to rescue me._

_I need you to hold all the sadness I can not …._

_Live with inside me._

_I am crying out._

_I am backing down._

_I am feeling it all._

_Stuck inside these walls, tell me there is hope for me_

_Is there anybody out there listening?_

_Sia - I'm In Here_

For long as she could remember Jacob Black had been a part of her life. He had been her best friend, her loyal companion, her protector, and her boyfriend. How was she going to function without him in her life? Two days ago he had come to her family home and they had gone for a hunting trip. He seemed happy and content. They talked about their upcoming wedding. He was so excited about the little house he had built for them that was straddled the Indian land and the Cullen land. It was symbolical of the truce Jacob said our marriage would keep between our families. He smiled and told her how he loved her before she was born. That would be how she remembered him. Not like this box that they were lowering in the ground. She wiped away the tears as they flowed freely down her face. She thought back to finding out that Jacob was dead.

Her grandfather got the call that he was needed at the Indian reservation one of the wolves was hurt. My grandfather isn't a vet. He is a doctor. But he always treats these special wolves. That is a long story so I will save it for the books. Lets just say some of the tribe turns into wolves when my family is in the area. Granddad was gone for hours and then finally he called my father. Edward and Bella came to give me the news that Jacob had died trying to save one of the younger wolves in a training accident. Apparently a boulder rolled over and crushed him. He had been crushed but he was able to save the younger wolf. Carlisle tried to help him but his injuries were too great and even though he could heal himself somewhat the internal injuries were just too much for him to heal. Jacob never woke up and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Why didn't I feel it when Jacob had gotten hurt? I should have felt it.

All I could do was cry. My family tried to help but they couldn't. The only one that sort of helped was Jasper. He came and sit at my bedside and sent me calming relaxing waves and took all of my sadness inside him so I could sleep for a few hours. When I woke up Jasper leaned over and kissed me on top of the head. He then smiled at me and left my room. I heard him stop and tell my mother "it is bad Bella." then went off to hunt. Taking someone's emotions always drains Jasper of his strength to maintain our lifestyle of being the only vegetarian vampires around. I waited because I knew the sadness would take me over again. My mother come in and helped me get ready for the funeral today. I was functioning on auto pilot. I felt so numb. Carlisle had given me something to make this funeral bearable. But this numbness was almost worse than the sadness.

People were swallowing me whole with their condolences. I appreciate their kindness but inside all I wanted to do was scream! Why? Why Jacob? Why now? And finally where did I go from here? I felt like I was falling. Suddenly I felt hands steady me. I looked to see who it was. It was Jasper and Alice. "Easy darling we got you. And we are not going to let you fall. I promise." Alice whispered something to my parents. The next thing I knew I was on my way home. Alice helped me to bed. I slept for days.

When I finally woke, I didn't feel sadness. I felt angry. I stunk out of the house and went to our home. Jacob's and mine home. I walked though every room. I touched the objects that had meant so much to Jacob and me. I wanted to feel Jacob. I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. But that wasn't going to happen again. I collapsed in a puddle on the floor. I didn't know how I would live without him but I knew he would want me too try. But it wasn't going to happen here or in Forks. I had to get away. I had to get away today. Now!

I went back home and packed my suitcase before I called a family meeting. Everyone looked so supportive. But I needed freedom. My whole life had been a plan and now I had no plan. I had to figure out where I went from here. And I would have too do it alone. "Thanks for coming everyone. I appreciate it. You all have been so supportive." Here went nothing. "But I need to be by myself for while. I got to figure out where I go from here. I feel so empty."

Bella jumped up and hugged me. "No baby we are your family. If you need something we are here to help you. We can move and go somewhere else if we need too." I pulled away from her.

"No Mom please understand I need freedom and I need to breath. I can't do that with you all with me. I need this time to heal me. I promise I am not trying to hurt you. Honest I love you all." My dad looked to Jasper and Alice. Jasper spoke first "She is determined Edward." Then he looked for Alice to give him a sign. She looked off in the distant then smiled at dad. "I see Alice." Dad and Alice always had this unspoken language. Sometimes you would have to remained them to share with the rest of us. "I am sorry Edward I have run it several different ways and she is right it is time for her to spread her wings." My mom spoke then "Where will you go?" Where was I going? Not to Canada Jacob and me would run to there to hunt sometimes. Alaska was out. I sit down and put my head in my hands. I couldn't even run away right.

Jasper came over and sit down next to me. He grabbed my hands and spoke slowly to me to make sure I understood what he was saying, "Nessmae, I know you wanted to go alone but how about I take you as far as Seattle. We can see Jenks make sure you are all set up to live alone where ever you want to. Then I will leave you once you are settled." I thought for a moment. Somehow 1 over protective family member for a short period of time didn't seem so bad. "I think that would be okay Jasper. It sounds like a plan."

Jasper got up to go pack a few things. I asked my family to go pack the little cabin in the woods. The one that had held all my dreams. Alice seemed a little off as we left in my midnight blue mustang convertible. I had hugged and kissed everyone promised to call when my plan were sit in stone. And like that we were off. Off to discover who I was and to plan my future. ]

An author note: The characters are all Stephanie Meyers. I just sometimes like to play in their world. I have another story I am working on. But this one just wouldn't stop playing in my head at dialysis. So I have decided to write both. I love Sia listened to this song and this story hit me out of the blue. I am excited about it. Leave me a review and let me know if I should continue with it or not. Thanks! Much love Dena


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